Motivating Men – Their Role in Ending Gender-Based Violence

This post is written by Bailey Reid and Erin Williams. Bailey Reid is a graduate of the Honours Criminology program at Carleton University. She has worked with the Ottawa Coalition to End Violence Against Women for three years and holds the position of Chair of the Public Engagement Committee. She recently founded a charitable organization to empower criminalized young women through literacy and leadership skills called “Sisters Achieving Excellence.”

Erin Williams is the first Executive Director of the Ottawa Coalition to End Violence Against Women (OCTEVAW). She sits on the board of Sisters Achieving Excellence and  is also on the founding board of the Williams Family Education Foundation. She has been working in violence against women and sexual and reproductive rights for 10 years.

Image via octevaw-cocvff.ca

Tomorrow, the Ottawa Coalition to End Violence Against Women will be facilitating a discussion at Women’s Worlds 2011. We will be discussing the elephant that’s in every women’s events planning room: How can we positively include men?

This is not an easy topic to broach in the VAW world. In this community, men’s participation in marches, events, programming and particularly in funding, is never without controversy. Things like, “Why should men receive precious resources?” or “It’s just men trying to take over again” are often said when there is a men-led initiative.

Of course, we don’t want to take resources away from women-led programs, and survivors need safe spaces without men. However, men need to be involved. The feminist movement is about acceptance, equality and anti-oppression. There are men in this world who believe in those things as well. If we push them away from feminism, or if they feel they can’t contribute, how can we then engage them to hold their gender accountable for the same change we want to see?

Men have the ability to bring fresh ideas to ending violence against women. As the majority of the world’s perpetrators are men, we need them to get on board with us if we want to create meaningful messages that men can relate to. Healthy men can speak to other men in a way that we as women cannot. When they speak to younger men, they become role models. They show that believing in equality is masculine. The message hits home much stronger when young men see someone they admire actually living in a way that values gender equality. Talking the talk but also walking the walk.

OCTEVAW has organized a number of men focused conferences on ending woman abuse and sexual violence. Our first conference, “Man Talk – What Every Guy Oughta/Gotta Know” was very successful – in total, 400 strong came out to the 2-day event. Michael Kauffman, co-founder of the White Ribbon Campaign spoke for a full day to a broad range of service providers and then a half-day to young men about masculine ideals, attitudes and actions. He engaged them and informed them in a way that motivated them to join in ending violence. When the young men left that day, they felt part of a movement. They weren’t all painted with the same brush, as rapists and abusers. They now know that most men are respectful and loving fathers, brothers and partners. They left knowing that now, as those healthy men; they have a responsibility to lead other young men.

Change can be uncomfortable. It forces us to challenge processes we have always used and challenge the fact that “it’s always been done this way.” Not every men-led initiative will “work.” However, experimentation is key – our failures teach us. We learn new paths by making wrong turns. And when it comes to prevention of violence, we can always use another path.

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